The Discussion
by reading is my addiction
Summary: Edward, you and I need to have a serious discussion." I had a sinking feeling this wasn't going to be pleasant. WARNING: This story contains corporal punishment; i.e. spanking, in some chapters. If this offends you, please DO NOT read!
1. Chapter 1

_**Disclaimer:** _ _I do NOT own __anything __Twilight. All rights belong to Stephenie Meyer. No copyright infringement is intended._

_**WARNING:** This story contains corporal punishment in later chapters. If this offends you, please discontinue your reading of this story._

_**A/N:** Thanks everyone for your great reviews of my last story! I am glad you all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it!! All the great reviews must have sparked my imagination, because I was so inspired a new story just started forming in my mind! I normally can't get them out so close together! Anyways, as many of you requested this is another Carlisle/Edward fic, and it takes place after Edward, Bella & Alice return from Italy. I hope you all enjoy it!_

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We were safe, and my Bella is alive. Stubborn as always she had fought to stay awake the whole trip home. I couldn't understand why, and tried to coax her to sleep, but she just wouldn't have it. Now, as we were greeted by my family, I held her securely to my side… she was dead on her feet. I honestly didn't know how she was able to stand at all.

_Edward._ Carlisle's 'voice' broke me from my silent musings. I moved my eyes from Bella to meet his. _Get her home and settled. As soon as you are able, you are to come directly home. You and I need to have a serious discussion._

"But–" I started to protest, keeping my voice too low for Bella to hear. Carlisle cut me off with a sharp look.

_I understand it will be immensely difficult for you to leave Bella, for even a small length of time, but I am afraid this is a discussion that cannot be delayed long. __**You are to come home**__. Understood?_

I winced but nodded my head slightly in reply. I was not looking forward to that discussion; I had a feeling it wasn't going to be pleasant. How could it be? To say I worried them would be a prodigious understatement. Before I could think too much of the inevitable 'discussion', Bella whimpered slightly, leaning more weight on me as we moved toward the car. Immediately my thoughts returned to her. Could she ever forgive me? Would she take me back? I will do anything, _anything_ if only she will take me back.

As we settled into the back seat, her body finally began succumbing to the sleep it so desperately needed. I pulled her onto my lap, unwilling to have any space between us, tucking her head in the crook of my neck as she slept.

**~~~*__(**_**Jump ahead**_**)__*~~~**

"–NEVER ALLOWED THROUGH THIS DOOR AGAIN!!!!" Charlie screamed out, before slamming the door in my face. I sighed. It was going to take a long time to earn even an inkling of trust from him again… _if she even gives me the chance_, I thought. Pain shot through me at the possibility of her rejection. Slowly I turned and made my way back to the car. He was watching me through the window, making sure I left. I got in, only to make my way out again before the door shut… too fast for him to notice. I was making my way through Bella's window before the car even started rolling away from the house.

I sat on the edge of her bed, slowly trailing my fingers down her peaceful face. She looked like she hadn't slept in months, or eaten much for that matter. If only I had known what I would do to her by leaving. I thought my absence would be better for her; safer; healthier. I sighed again, shaking my head at my ignorance.

I pulled up her blanket, covering her, and tucked her in snugly. Then I just lay beside her, running my fingers through her hair and over her face, burying my face into the crook of her neck; just soaking her in. I never thought I would see her again. Her flawless face, her soft skin, her light, her warmth, I had thought it all lost… gone forever.

I laid there beside her for an immeasurable amount of time, before I remembered that Carlisle was waiting for me. I inwardly groaned at the thought of leaving… reluctant to leave Bella. My love, my light, my life. I never wanted to leave her side again. But I knew the longer I put it off, the less time I had before Bella awoke. Though I was sure she would be out for several hours longer than normal to compensate for her lack of sleep, I didn't want to risk her waking without me. After another minute of debate, I gently kissed her forehead before reluctantly making my way home. I had a sinking feeling this was going to be a long night.

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_**A/N: **__There you go! Chapter one! Sorry it's a bit short, I will__ try my best to__ update soon! Reviews make the world go round, so _**_PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!!_**_ I appreciate your support in doing so!! Thanks! :o)_


	2. Chapter 2

**WARNING:** This story will contain the corporal punishment in later chapters.

**_A/N: _**Well, thanks everyone for the great reviews from the last chapter! And in case any of you remember that I had interviews recently, I got a job from one of the companies! I will be starting in a few weeks!! YAY!!!

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It only took minutes for me to reach the house at a run. Only Carlisle was home. Though I expected it, I had hoped fleetingly I would be wrong.

_My office, Edward._ Carlisle thought to me, as soon as he heard my approach. I slowed to a walk when I reached the porch, leaping lightly on to it. Then in an attempt to stall, I made my way through the door and up the stairs to his office at a human pace. He knew I was purposefully moving sluggishly, but continued to focus on notes he was making from a medical journal, rather than rebuke me for it.

I paused outside the door, reluctant to walk in and face what was undoubtedly going to be a very unpleasant next hour or or 2. _Edward Anthony_. Carlisle chastened at my hesitation. Resigned, I stepped in, shutting the door behind me. It closed with a sharp click that seemed to resonate in the tense and quiet room. I winced at the sound, and slowly turned to face my father. One look at his face had me looking away to the floor. To put it lightly, he was not pleased.

"Have a seat Edward."

I moved slowly over to the chair placed in front of his desk and sat. I kept my head down, not sure I could stomach the disappointment and anger coating his features. He kept his mind blank as he studied me a moment. And then it began.

"What were you thinking?" His voice was quiet and sharp. I flinched at the anger in it, but stayed silent. "What could have possibly gone through your mind to make you even _consider_ such a thing?" Again I didn't respond, deciding these were probably rhetorical.

"Edward." Carlisle's voice was low and dangerous. "Look at me when I am speaking to you."

I moved my eyes from the floor to meet his. My stomach clenched in guilt as I looked into them. They were brimming with disappointment, anger and hurt.

"Do you even comprehend what you had almost done to this family? What you almost took from us? Do you even know what you put us through? What it was like waiting to hear if you were alive or dead? No way to contact you, no way to know what they…" He trailed off. Suddenly I saw myself, face twisted with agony; heard myself scream as Felix and Demetri started to tear me apart.

Taken off guard, I recoiled from the mental scene as Carlisle attempted to banish it from his thoughts. He hadn't meant to show me, but he couldn't stop it from flashing in his mind as he remembered the torment of not knowing what was happening. What I had just seen had replayed over and over in his mind. The horror of what might have been my death had plagued him.

"Did you not think Edward? Not think of what your death would have done to us? Done to me?" He asked in a whisper. "You were my first companion, my first son. What was I to do had your request been carried out?" I couldn't bear it… the pain on his face. I had to look away. I moved my eyes to stare at my lap, shaking my head in reply. I had not thought. My world had just come crashing down around me… there had been only blackness; and pain, such pain. I felt like it had been crushing me, lying so heavily on me I could barely move. I had just wanted it to end. Life didn't seem to hold anything for me.

"Life is difficult Edward, loss of life is difficult, and learning to live after loss is the most trying part of life. I can say that I understand the pain you felt, only because I felt it too, we all did, when we thought you may be dead. But she wasn't dead Edward, and if you would have stopped yourself long enough to think, you would have found out. If you had only talked to Alice. Why would you not have talked her? It was _your life_ Edward, your life you were going to throw away. And that pain you were in? Your family would be suffering it now. Suicide is not a way to solve problems Edward, not only does it take away the ability to solve anything, but it causes pain to all those who love you. I can't even express how disappointed I am in you. I thought from my experiences with this you would have understood it as a mistake that could not be rectified. It was a _blessing_ that my attempts had failed. Look at my life now. I have a loving wife, children that mean the world to me, and because of what I am I have been able to save many lives. I thank God your attempt was also thwarted; your life spared. More thankful than you may ever know."

"Carlisle… I…" I trailed off. How could I begin to express how sorry I was? I had to try. I cleared my throat. "There's nothing I can say that could possibly convey my remorse. All I could think of was Bella… to think the light of my life was extinguished… and because of me… I couldn't bear it."

He sighed then. I listened to his internal battle as he struggled with his understanding and his hurt, his fear; his anger.

"You knew what it was like, briefly, to think you lost someone that way. And yet you still tried to do the same? Knowing the pain of those left behind; experiencing it?… Edward… this is never to happen again. _I won't ever let it happen again_."

I nodded, swallowing nervously. I don't think I had ever seen Carlisle so worked up. But who could blame him?

He sighed, and leaning his elbows on the desk, he rubbed his temples with his fingers. "But what can I do? I have thought long and hard about what steps to take, what to do with you about this. A normal grounding would be out of the question, for several reasons. I do not consider myself a cruel man, and I do not wish anyone to think that of me. To keep you from Bella, I know would be unspeakably cruel. So the aspects of your punishment for this have taken a lot of careful consideration. If you feel that the idea of punishment is unfair, I am sorry to disagree. I cannot simply let this go."

He looked at me, wondering if I would choose to argue. I just shook my head, remaining quiet. I did not want to fight him on this.

"Good. This is what is going to happen. I have secured you a new phone, it is on the desk in your bedroom. It is to be on you at all times. I want to be able to contact you at any moment. I never want to experience the fear of not being able to reach you again. You will not purposely ignore calls from this family, with the exception of hunting, or purposely get rid of this phone. If you break this new rule there _will_ be consequences. Is that understood?"

"Yes sir." It sounded reasonable enough and not something that was out of my normal routine anyway.

"If you are not with Bella, or hunting, you are home with no piano for 3 weeks, unless otherwise given permission." I deflated a little at that. Three weeks without the piano? That's going to be difficult, but compared to what I could be grounded from it was nothing.

_Am I correct to assume you know the last part of your punishment?_ I shifted uncomfortably at the silent question. I knew of course, but it didn't make it any easier. I nodded.

He shook his head slightly and released a heavy sigh. "This was a very serious thing Edward, and I had to take that into account. Therefore, to attempt to convey the seriousness of what you've done, and to make sure it will never happen again I feel I am going to have to be a little harder on you."

I looked at his face. Though anger still lingered in his features, a sadness had begun to take over.

"Edward, I have decided that you will not receive one spanking, but two."

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**_A/N:_** _And there you have it! The next chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it! I thought Carlisle was being fair, and really two spankings seem insignificant compared to Edward's actions... I hope you all agree. Anway I would love to know what you all think of it!! So _**_PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!! PLEASE?!_**_ Your reviews rock my world!_


	3. Chapter 3

_**WARNING:**_ _T__his story will contain the corporal punishment in later chapters._

_**A/N:** Thanks for all the great reviews!! Here's the next chapter!!_

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I felt my jaw drop. _Two_? I'm sure I deserve it… but _two_? "But... Carli–"

"Let me explain my reasoning." Carlisle interrupted. He was struggling to stay confident with his decision and needed to go over it again as much for himself as me. "You attempted not only once but twice. First," He held up a finger. "You asked them to. After they refused, you attempted to provoke them to." He held up another finger. "Because of the seriousness of the situation, I have decided you will be punished once for each attempt."

I sat in shocked silence. He sighed heavily.

"I realize that you are an adult Edward. I cannot stop you from doing what you wish. But I do consider you my son, and unless you someday decide you wish to leave–"

"I will always want to stay." I said quietly.

He smiled slightly in response. Though he didn't show it (he felt the need to stay firm at the moment), he was very happy and relieved to hear me say it.

"Then we will continue to do as we have always done. You know that I do not punish you for every mistake, but only for behavior that I feel is bad enough to warrant it. You have many years behind you, but you are still charged at times by '-teenaged' emotions. Like your temper for example."

He was right. No matter how long I've lived, I was still forever trapped as my 17-year-old self. There is a part of me that will always hold that youth. My emotions, though they have matured, can regress to that of a 17-year-old quickly and more often than I'd like.

"Do you find fault, or disagree with this punishment?"

I thought for a moment. I knew I did not _want_ to be spanked, especially twice, but I also knew I deserved it. I acted foolishly, and hastily.

I have accepted Carlisle as a father, and knew that he was only doing this for my benefit. And he was never unfair.

Resigned, I shook my head. I would take my due punishment. Carlisle studied my face closely for a moment, before nodding his head.

_Alright_. He thought.

"You will receive one tonight, and the other while Bella sleeps tomorrow night."

I internally groaned. So close together! This was going to be _so_ unpleasant. But at least if I was lucky, Bella would be sleeping and I wouldn't have to explain my inevitable discomfort upon my return to her.

_Go wait for me in your room please. I just need to put things away here._

I rose and quickly made my way to my room. I knew I didn't have long before Carlisle would finish and I wanted a few minutes to try to prepare myself before he did.

When I walked in my room I was surprised and pleased to find that nothing was out of place. _After all this time_. I walked over to my shelves of music, noting that Esme must have cleaned. There was not a speck of dust to be found in the room.

I softly brushed my fingers along the rows of cds; I have missed my music. My eyes stopped on a particular one and I carefully removed it from the shelf. Debussy. I ran the tips of my fingers lovingly over the pristine case, reminiscing. _Bella, my Bella._ Thinking of her made me ache. _I thought I had lost you._

It's interesting how something so simple as a disk could strip you raw. Remembering how it felt to think she was gone, to think she had… killed… herself, it all came crashing down. Guilt was crushing me, much like my sorrow had been. I had caused that. That pain… that sorrow. Because of me, my family had felt that. _Everything was my fault_.

_Edward?_ I had been so lost in my emotions I hadn't even realized Carlisle had come in. I looked up at him, eyes burning with tears that couldn't fall.

Before I could speak, I was in his arms, hugged tightly to his chest. _What is it? _He asked silently. I shook my head, burying my face in his shirt. So much guilt, I felt as if I were drowning in it. He gently took the cd from my hands, placing it on the shelf. He rubbed my back, slightly swaying me from side to side, as I held my arms around him tightly. _Ok son. I've got you Edward._

We stayed that way for an immeasurable moment; him comforting me as I pulled myself together. Finally, I pulled away.

"I'm ok." I whispered. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry Edward. You can always come to me." He lifted my chin to look into my eyes. _Do you want to talk about it?_

I shook my head. We would get there.

_We don't have to do this now_. Carlisle thought to me, unsure of what to do.

"Yes we do." I replied softly. As much as I hated it, I didn't want to put it off. It would only be worse to wait. And… maybe I needed it; maybe it would help ease the guilt.

He sighed. Shaking his head slightly. He was confused by my behavior. He fought with himself for another moment before relenting. He walked over to my sofa, situating himself on the edge, before motioning me over. I took a deep breath and moved slowly over to his side.

_You're sure?_ He asked me again, still off guard from a moment ago. I nodded, fidgeting nervously.

He frowned slightly, still confused.

_Alright then... Unfasten your trousers, son._

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_**A/N:** Well there you are!! Hope you enjoyed it! **PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!** If I get lots of reviews it will inspire a quicker update!!_


	4. Chapter 4

_**WARNING:**__T__his CHAPTER will contain corporal punishment. If you find this offensive, please do not read._

_**A/N:** Thanks for all the great reviews!! I am going to be moving to another state this weekend, so if it takes me a little longer to update, I'm sorry!!! But here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy it!!_

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Shutting my eyes, I swallowed hard and with shaky fingers undid my jeans before moving my hands to my sides. I heard Carlisle sigh; he hated doing this. After a moment he reached over to pull my jeans down to pool at my feet and quickly placed me over his lap. I hid my face in my arms as he shifted me a little before moving my boxers down to my knees. I squirmed a bit at my all-to-familiar predicament. Carlisle rubbed my back to calm my squirming.

"Why are you about to receive this spanking Edward?" He asked softly.

"Because I went to the Volturi…." I mumbled in response, face still hidden in the cook of my arm.

"Speak clearly please."

I swallowed again, and moved my face from my arms. "Because I acted hastily and foolishly, without thought of the repercussions. Because I… I went to the Volturi."

_Good._ Carlisle praised silently. _Ok, Edward, we are going to start._ He wrapped his arm around my waist, holding me snuggly in place, and let out another heavy sigh.

SMACK!

I jumped at the impact of the first spank to the center of my backside, gasping at the sting.

SMACK!

Burying my face back into my arms I bit my lip to keep myself quiet. The smacks raining down on my bare backside were harder than he normally started with. Usually he worked his way up to this intensity but this time he really wanted to get his point across.

SMACK!

_OH!..._ I squeezed my eyes shut as he continued to land spank after hard burning spank.

Between my guilt and Carlisle's hard spanking, I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer. Eyes burning, I began to squirm over his lap, kicking my feet a little and whimpering.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!

I yelped and increased my squirming as the pace quickened. My backside was scalding; my breath hitching. Carlisle continued to blister my backside, tightening his grip to keep me in place as I began wriggling and kicking in earnest.

After another minute, I felt Carlisle shift me forward, raising his right knee. Knowing what that meant, I let loose and started to cry tearlessly.

"NO!" I howled, as Carlisle began spanking the tender area where bottom met thigh. I couldn't help it; it HURT. I was feeling like a well-chastened little boy. I uncrossed my arms and desperately grasped at the couch cushion.

"I'm not going to lecture you anymore Edward. But this will _never_ happen again. Am I making myself crystal clear?" He emphasized his words with a few extra hard swats to my sit-spots.

I howled out again. "Y…y…yes!!! I..I..I'm s..so…so..rry!!!" My bottom was on fire! I squirmed and kicked, trying desperately to avoid his stinging hand, as Carlisle continued spanking my sit-spots. "P…p..ple..please!! N..n..no more!!" I begged through my tears.

Finally, after another minute or so, I couldn't fight anymore; I stopped struggling and just sobbed. Carlisle gave me 5 more swats, the hardest yet, before stopping. I cried out at the hard spanks to my scalding backside. My body trembled with heaving sobs as I lay over his knees. It was one of the shortest spankings I had ever received from Carlisle, but by far the hardest.

Carlisle rubbed my back for a moment in comfort and then replaced my boxers and jeans. I howled out at the feel of them on my blazing skin. He quickly sat me up on his lap, careful to hang my well-spanked backside off his knees. I clung to him as he wrapped his arms around me, rocking slightly.

"D…d..dad!!" I choked out.

"Shhh…. I've got you Edward. I'm right here." He whispered soothingly.

"I…I..II.I'm so..or..rry!!" I sobbed, burying my face into his shoulder.

"I know baby, I know. It's over now." I heard the sadness in his voice as he comforted. It hurt him to punish any of his children.

He rocked me for a while as I clung to him, crying myself out. When I had calmed a little he spoke softly into my hair.

"I hate to punish you Edward; I loathed every second. But I love you, and I cannot lose you."

"I'm sorry." I sniffled into his shirt.

"I know, son." He rubbed his fingers on the back of my head in comfort. After a few more moments of rocking I finally got myself under control. When I did, he gently moved me back to look into my eyes. "_Never again_, Edward."

I nodded. He smiled slightly and ruffled my hair.

_Are you alright now? _

"Yes."

_You're sure?_

I nodded.

"Alright then. You may want to change before you return to Bella." He suggested. _Definitely_, I thought. I did NOT want to be lying around in these rough jeans, not with my backside this sore. He stood us up and gave me another tight hug. _I'm glad you are home safe, son._

I hugged him back with one arm, my other hand frantically rubbing my throbbing bottom. "Me too." I whispered.

He let me go, a little reluctantly, and sighed.

"I wish I could say we are finished with this, but I cannot." He whispered sadly.

I grimaced.

"I will see you in here tomorrow night, after Bella is asleep. After that, we can put this behind us."

I nodded. _I guess I will leave you to Bella._ He turned and made his way to the door.

"Carlisle." I called when he reached the door. _Yes?_

"I love you."

I caught his smile as he paused in the doorway. "I love you too son."

**~~~*__(**_**Jump ahead**_**)__*~~~**

I slipped through Bella's window carefully, and made my way over to the bed. Mercifully, she was still sleeping, though it seemed to be an uneasy sleep. With thoughts only of her, I quickly sat on her bed, just wanting to get her into my arms. But I shot right back up, hissing and rubbing my backside. In my haste I had forgotten to be careful. I stood there, back to the bed, frantically trying to dull the reignited burn in my bottom. I bit my lip to stifle the whimpers that threatened to leave my throat. God does that ever HURT.

"Edward?" Bella mumbled. I froze. My sudden movement and pained hissing must have woken her. Embarrassed, I frantically tried to figure out how to explain my behavior.

Resigned, I slowly turned to face her, then let out a sigh of relief. _Sleeping_. She was still sleeping. _Thank God._

I moved back to the bed and, carefully this time, laid on my side next to her. I pulled her to me snugly, and drew a deep breath of her scent. I leaned close and placed a kiss to her temple before whispering softly in her ear. "I'm here baby, I'm home."

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**_A/N: _**_Well there you are! Another chapter! I hope you all enjoyed it!_ **_PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!_** _I will do my best to update soon!!!_


	5. Chapter 5

**_WARNING:_**_ This story contains corporal punishment in later chapters. If this offends you, please discontinue your reading of this story._

_**A/N:** I'm soooo sorry it's taken me so long to update! But between moving to a new state, apartment hunting and starting my new job, I really haven't had much time!!! But again, soooooo sorry! This chapter is shorter, but like I said I've been so crazy busy! At least it's an update! I hope you enjoy!_

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Bella had woken in somewhat of a frantic state. _Dreaming, _I thought with a scoff. _She thought she had been dreaming. _It took a lot of convincing, that she was truly awake. My chest constricted a bit as I thought back on her tears. I hated to see her cry… but she's ok now. She's had, as she called it, 'her epiphany', and has taken me back. I cannot even _begin_ to illustrate my relief. But now there are other matters at hand. Much to my distaste, Bella has decided to call a family meeting. She wishes to vote on her being changed. She thinks it's the only option, but I've already come up with a way around the Volturi. There's no reason, no _need_, to destroy her soul; to damn her to this life.

As we walked into the dinning room, where we held all such meetings and I found myself pausing momentarily at the sight of the hard wooden chairs. Well _damn_.

Emmett, who caught my hesitation, gave me a knowing grin. _Good luck with that bro… brutal!_ I shot him a dirty look before moving to my seat. As soon as I sat, it took everything I had to keep myself from jumping right back up. I grit my teeth to keep myself quiet, clenching my fists at the pain of the hard seat against my throbbing bottom. _Oh God._ I thought.

Thankfully, Bella didn't notice my discomfort; she was too focused on what was to come. I kept shifting in my seat slightly, but only Emmett seemed to be paying any attention.

_Need a pillow, there Eddie?_ I growled low in my chest in warning. I was not in a mood for teasing. Not only was it truly painful to sit in these damn chairs right now, but I did not like the reason we were here in the first place. He simply chuckled at my response, lightly punching my shoulder.

Carlisle entered the room then and held my gaze for a moment. He noticed my discomfort, and the effort it was taking for me to stay seated, and frowned. His mind was a whirlwind. He felt guilty that he caused my discomfort, but he knew it had to be done. He thought briefly about the next portion of my punishment, that is to take place tonight. I grimaced at his thought. _Wonderful_.

When everyone was settled, the meeting began.

**~~~*__(**_**Jump ahead**_**)__*~~~**

I was feeling slightly better about the whole situation by the time Bella fell asleep. Unfortunately I couldn't stop her from changing…. But maybe I could buy some time. She wants me to change her, for some reason, but my condition for her to marry me first really made her think. If she wants it to be me bad enough, maybe her distaste for marriage would make her wait. I could at least hope for that to be the case.

I lay in Bella's small bed, with her snuggled close as I thought things over. Trailing my fingers lightly up and down her spine, I couldn't help but let my thoughts drift to Bella becoming my wife. The idea just made me giddy. I will admit that her reluctance to do so hurt a bit, but maybe, just maybe she would change her mind. I smiled slightly at the thought. I already had a ring, my mother's, all I needed was one little word. It will take a lot of work, but I think I can get that ring on her finger. I looked over at the clock and felt the smile fall from my face. It's late; Carlisle would be waiting. I sighed and looked back at my Bella, pressing a soft kiss to her lips. I carefully disentangled myself and with one last fleeting look, ducked out the window.

I made my way home slowly, reluctant to face the rest of my punishment. Though the pain in my backside had dulled significantly by now, it was still tender, no thanks to those damn chairs. I also knew that Carlisle was not happy with my behavior at the house earlier. I got angry, and not only shouted at Bella, but broke the tv in my rage. That behavior in itself would have earned me a trip over his knee; now it only added more to this whole Italy mess. _Just what I needed,_ I thought bitterly to myself, _another reason to be in trouble_. I sighed as I saw the house come into view and slowed to a walk. _This just sucks_.

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_**A/N:** Again, sorry it's short! I know, I know, I suck. But I am doing what I can! So let me explain why this chapter is how it is. I didn't want to re-write Stephenie Meyer's version of this part of New Moon. I love how she did it so I didn't even want to touch it, But since it is part of this story I tried to bring it in without a total rewrite. So I hope it was ok! Again, so so so so sorry about how long it's taken, and the short chapter! But I hope you liked it, and now that I've started work and found an apartment, I will hopefully be able to update sooner!! Thanks for understanding everyone!!! **PLEASE,**__**PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!! **_


	6. Chapter 6

_**WARNING:**_ _T__his story will contain the corporal punishment in later chapters._

_**A/N:** Hi all. Sorry again for the long wait. I hope this next chapter is worth it.... I think this is the longest story I've written so far... and I'm thinking there may be 2 or 3 more chapters at the least.... whoa! Anyways, sorry again but I hope you enjoy it!_

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I stepped into my bedroom and shut the door quietly behind me. Carlisle had instructed me to wait for him here, saying he would be up in a few minuets. I heaved a sigh as I looked around, wondering what I should do. I glanced out the window longingly, wishing I was anywhere but here.

After a moment I made my way over to my chest of drawers and began digging through clothes. I decided I would make it easier on myself and just change into my loose flannel sleep pants now. It would save me _some_ discomfort later. As much as I had argued with Alice over the need for them, I am glad I lost that battle.

I gently pulled off my jeans and tossed them into the laundry basket before pulling on the sleep pants. Then I let out a breath, and considered sitting to wait for Carlisle, before I thought better of it. Instead, I walked over to the window and looked out, letting my thoughts wander. Listening to the gentle sound of the river, I tried to let it sooth my nerves_. _

_Just get through tonight and then it's done. _I told myself. _It's only a spanking; you've faced worse._

I shook my head. Why was it that I could knowingly face death unafraid, but then become a nervous little boy at the threat of a spanking? It just doesn't make sense.

My thoughts were interrupted by a soft knock on the door as Carlisle stepped into the room. I turned from the window at the sound of his entrance, moving my hands to play anxiously with the pockets of my sleep pants. He looked over me carefully as he shut the door behind him, taking note of my nervous posture and loose attire. It was the look on his face then that made me realize it was the disappointment that made spankings such a hard thing to endure. Yes the spankings themselves hurt; oh Lord did they ever hurt… But knowing that I disappointed Carlisle hurt too.

He sighed and joined me at the window, looking out into the night. He was as reluctant to do this as I was… But at least he wouldn't be sore for a day or two afterwards. I grimaced slightly at the thought, before quickly composing my face. Carlisle was having a difficult time as it was without me making faces. I looked up at him as he looked out the glass, his internal struggle illustrated by his features. We stayed like that for an immeasurable moment.

_Edward._ He thought to me. _You know how I hate to do this._

I nodded, moving my eyes to the floor. He sighed and turned to me, studying my face. This time he spoke aloud; his voice firm.

"But I feel you need it. And I must admit your actions earlier didn't help your situation."

I winced.

"I realize you may be angry with me for my decision; I know how against it you are and I respect that. But you must in turn respect that I had no choice. You clearly have chosen not to live without her and as I said before _I will not lose you_. I will do_ anything_ in my power not to lose you. You have every right to be angry Edward… but we have discussed the control of your temper before. Breaking things in a tantrum is unacceptable. And yelling as you did…. did you not see Bella's face when you raised your voice to her?"

I didn't answer; too ashamed of myself.

He sighed at my silence, shaking his head.

"I am already being hard on you Edward but this needs to be dealt with. Therefore I decided that you will be punished with a couple extra licks."

I groaned but nodded. Before I could react further Carlisle spun me to face away from him, keeping a firm grip on my arm. I gasped at the movement; I hadn't realized he meant NOW.

I felt two light pats on my tender bottom, like he was taking aim, and squeezed my eyes shut in anticipation. Then Carlisle spun me back around and into a hug. I looked up at him quizzically. _What was that? Did he change his mind?_

He looked down at me then, and I saw a hint of a smile before he gave me a stern look.

"Let that be a lesson to you."

I was… confused.

Carlisle chuckled at my expression, shaking his head. "Edward, I think you're going to be punished enough don't you? How about we let this one slide with that?"

Still off guard, I tried to listen to his thoughts. He felt partly responsible for my behavior earlier, but still felt it should be addressed. He didn't want to add anything else to my punishment; and he hoped that maybe he could lighten the mood a bit… for both our sakes.

I gave a short laugh at his attempt. "Ok."

He smiled warmly at me; lightly musing my hair. He gave me another good squeeze before letting me go, and placing his hands on my shoulders. _Now…_ he thought. _Something is on your mind… start talking._

I hadn't even realized I needed to, but just like that, it all just came pouring out. I told him that I was sorry, and that I didn't mean to scare Bella. I told him how frightened I was for her, how this, her changing, was a mistake. I told him how I was conflicted; how I wanted her forever but didn't want to damn her. I said how I asked her to marry me, and how it might have bought me time, but still kind of hurt when she refused. I told him all of it; everything that had bottled up over the course of the night.

He listened carefully, gently rubbing my arms as I spoke. He knew from the moment he walked in I needed this; even though I didn't. He couldn't make himself punish me when he knew I needed to just talk with him. After I talked myself out he pulled me in for another hug, and whispered to me soothingly.

"It's alright Edward. She's going to be fine. You're meant to be together. Though it's hard to see it now, I know you won't regret it." I huffed into his shoulder and he pulled me back, again placing his hands on my shoulders, to look into my eyes.

"Edward, in all the years I have known you, I have never seen you so happy, so complete until Bella came into your life. You know this." I nodded. "Then maybe this is God's plan for you…. For you both."

I didn't reply to that. But his words did help.

_And I'm sure…_ He thought to me. _I'm sure she will see reason and accept your proposal. Eventually._

I chuckled. "I don't know Carlisle… Bella and reason…." I trailed off and felt myself relax a bit. He smiled.

_Feel better?_

I nodded. Then, after a moment, sighed.

"I guess this means, we need to…. Er… 'discuss'… other things?" I asked quietly, suddenly becoming anxious again.

Carlisle's smile fell from his face and he cleared his throat. Moving his hands from my shoulders, he slipped them into his pockets.

Then, rather reluctantly, he answered me silently. _I suppose it is._

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**A/N:** Well there you have it... chapter 6!!! It went in a different direction than I had originally intended, but I ran with it. I really hope you all liked it! **PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!**_


	7. Chapter 7

**_WARNING:_**_ This CHAPTER contains corporal punishment. If this offends you, please discontinue your reading of this story._

_**A/N:** I'm sorry again for the wait! Thanks for all the great reviews!!! Before I get to the good stuff I just want to explain one thing from the last chapter. I just wanted to clarify Carlisle's 'fake spanks' so to speak. He actually was going to give Edward a couple real spanks for his behavior but he just couldn't bring himself to do it. He felt too guilty and changed his mind at the last second. So that's what that was all about. I really hope you guys like this chapter and that it's worth the wait. I stayed up later than I planned to finish it, aka I was really tired when I wrote a good chunk so I hope it's good! So without further ado.... chapter 7!_

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We both stood silently, eyes looking to the floor. I shuffled my feet nervously when Carlisle broke the silence with a sigh. He's rarely punished any of us so close together… and with twice in two days…. he was reluctant to say the least. I peeked up at him when I felt his eyes on me. He was looking at me intently, eyes heavy with sadness.

"I don't want to do this Edward…" He stated softly, a slight desperation lacing his tone. "I can't stand to do this…. You must understand that?"

I nodded slowly… pained by the hurt it caused him.

"But I stand here resigned. I am still upset with you; about that I cannot lie. This is not something that can or will be tolerated. I will not repeat my pervious lecture to you… surely you know by now why I must punish you?"

I nodded. He pulled his hands from his pockets and folded his arms across his chest. With the straightening of his posture he steeled his mind and transitioned from a hesitant companion, to my unfaltering father.

_Tell me._

I cleared my throat, moving my eyes back to the floor as I spoke. "You are be..becau–"

"Edward," He interrupted, voice stern. "I want you to look at me when you tell me."

I snapped my eyes to his, slightly embarrassed by the rebuke.

"You are… punishing me twice because I… I attempted twice to end my life."

He nodded, satisfied enough with my answer.

"You are my son Edward. Your life is precious, and not just to me… to all of us. Do you understand?"

I nodded again in response. I could tell as he spoke his resolve was strengthening and his reluctance fading. It's not that he _wanted_ to punish me… he just knew he had to. And the more resolved he came to be, the more nervous I became. I didn't want to be punished any more than I already had been, especially because I knew this would hurt ten times worse on an already tender bottom.

_Alright then_. He responded silently as he turned and made his way to my sofa. He sat, situating himself on the edge of the cushions and rolled up the sleeves of his dress shirt. I stayed standing by the window, watching him anxiously.

When he was settled he looked to me, and meeting my eyes he waved me over with his hand. I stood frozen to the spot, staring at him.

_Edward._ He coaxed. _Come here son._

I tried to go, but my feet were rooted to the floor... I just couldn't. I didn't _want_ to go to him. I didn't _want_ to be spanked again.

"Edward." He spoke aloud this time at my hesitation, voice firm.

In his mind I saw myself, eyes wide and terrified. My fingers fidgeted with my sleep pants but I didn't move.

"Edward Anthony, _**come here**_."

I bit my lip nervously but still stayed rooted in place. I knew I wasn't helping myself at all... but I just couldn't. It was shocking how quickly the atmosphere had changed with my disobedience. Carlisle was quickly losing his patience.

"Edward, do not make me fetch you." He threatened. "You will not like it. _**Come here**_."

"No… Carlisle…" I whined, shaking my head slightly and taking a step back from him. I don't know what had gotten into me. I had been resigned to this, even kind of accepting of it… But now that it was time to actually face it, I couldn't make myself.

Carlisle had had enough. In a second he was at my side with a firm grip on my arm. Moving me in front of him he propelled me toward the couch with a sharp spank.

"OW!" I cried, jumping forward at the unexpected impact. My eyes stung at the pain of the hard swat to my smarting backside. With my free hand I tried to rub out the burn.

"When I tell you to do something, you do it." Carlisle scolded as he proceeded to lead me over to the sofa.

"Yes… sir…" I sniffed.

The second we reached the couch I found myself over his lap and staring at the floor. Carlisle didn't want to give me any more opportunities for nonsense… he was done. When he had me situated over his knees, he took a deep breath too soothe his irritation at my wayward behavior.

"Now." He began calmly after a moment. "I realize it is difficult to accept punishment Edward... but acting as you just did was childish. I don't want a repeat of that charade, understood?"

"Yes." I whispered quietly.

_Good. Now, I want you to tell me again… _"Why you are about to receive this spanking?"

"Because I t..tried to provoke th..the Volturi." I stammered, my voice cracking a bit.

"Very Good." He praised, lightly rubbing my back.

Knowing we were about to start, I gripped his pant leg tightly, steeling myself. Carlisle rubbed my back once more in comfort before wrapping his arm around my waist, holding me securely in place.

I heard him sigh before he raised his hand and brought it down on my bottom with a hard smack.

"GUH!" I grunted as the sharp pain registered. Even though the thin cotton of my boxers and sleep pants offered little protection from the sting I was thankful I could keep them up for the moment. I hoped what little shielding they _did_ provide would help me keep it together a little longer.

"OOWWW!" I yelped, squeezing my eyes shut at the next couple of spanks to my tender backside. Carlisle wasn't holding back as he quickly reignited the flames in my bottom. My eyes glazed over with venom, and I started kicking my feet. This hurt _so much worse _because of last night!

Carlisle tightened his grip and continued to spank hard as I squirmed and kicked over his lap.

"CARLISLE!!!" I cried out as he quickened the pace. "OH!! P..p..ple..please!!" I couldn't hold it in anymore... I started crying tearlessly then. It just hurt too much… my backside was on fire.

I was squirming and kicking in earnest, trying anything to avoid his stinging hand. I held onto his leg tighter, burying my face into the cushions as I cried.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! SMACK!!

After a few more hard spanks Carlisle paused. It took me a minute through my crying, to notice him tugging down my sleep pants and boxers.

"NOOO!" I wailed in protest.

Carlisle paid me no mind as he shifted me forward in his lap, raising his right knee.

"OOOHHHH!!!" I howled out at the first hard swat to my sit-spots.

"What you did was completely unacceptable." Carlisle admonished me over my cries. "It will never happen again, will it?" He emphasized his question with 5 extra hard spanks to my sit-spots.

"N..N..NOO S..SIR!!!" I wailed as he continued to rain down smack after burning smack to my tender sit-spots. After a particularly hard swat, I couldn't help it… I reached back trying to protect myself (something I haven't done in years). Unfazed, Carlisle simply grabbed my wrist and pinned it to my lower back as he blistered my blazing posterior.

"P..p…ple..please no more!" I begged, finally breaking down into sobs. It seemed like it would never end. My chest heaved with the force of my sobs and I stopped struggling. Carlisle landed 10 more hefty spanks, causing me to howl through my sobs, before stopping.

He let go of my wrist, rubbing my back soothingly as I sobbed over his lap. It was still sorter than a normal spanking, but it had again been much harder, plus I had already been sore to begin with. It was the worst spanking I had ever gotten to date; needless to say I was blubbering across his lap like the little boy I felt like.

Carlisle replaced my pants and boxers (which I had almost kicked off) quickly, causing me to sob harder before righting me on his knees. He wrapped his arms around me as I clung to him fiercely, burying my face into the crook of his neck.

"I'm here Edward, I've got you." He murmured softly, rocking me gently. "Shhh now… It's all over."

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_**A/N:**_ Well there it is.... chapter 7!! I hope you all liked it. I'm kinda nervous about this post... So _**PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!**_ I would really like to know what you think! I will try to update soon! Thanks everyone for reading!!! Again remember to REVIEW!!!


	8. Chapter 8

**_WARNING:_**_ This story contains corporal punishment in some chapters. If this offends you, please discontinue your reading of this story._

_**A/N:** Hey everyone!!! Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews!! I'm sooo glad you guys liked the last chapter!!! I hope you all enjoy the next installment!!!_

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"It's alright Edward." Carlisle soothed as I cried into his shirt.

"I..i..i.. s..s… r..r..ry!!" I sobbed.

"Shhhhh…" He held me tighter, running his fingers through my hair in comfort. "Deep breaths now."

He rocked me slowly back and fourth as I tried to catch my breath.

"H..hurts…….da…d.." I whimpered through my sobs. I knew I was acting like a child… but I didn't care. I felt like one… and I just needed my dad.

"I know it hurts baby…. But it's over now… and I'm right here."

He continued to rock me gently, rubbing my back and running his fingers through my hair as I cried. I slowly started to calm myself as he whispered to me again and again.

"Shhhh now… ok baby… ok… it's over… I've got you… I love you… shhhh."

It took quite a while but I finally was able to calm myself down to sniffles, though my breath still hitched every now and then.

"That's it… alright now…" Carlisle gave me another tight squeeze before moving me back a bit to look into my face. He gently brushed some hair from my eyes, giving me a small smile.

"There we are." He said softly. "No more tears." I gave a small smile at that, as there haven't been actual tears for almost 100 years.

"I'm sorry dad…" I whispered hoarsely.

"I know. Everything is forgiven… it's alright."

I laid my head back down on to his shoulder as he continued to rock me slightly. We were quiet then, the silence only broken by my sniffles and shuddered breathes.

"Carlisle…" I muttered softly after a moment.

"Hmmm?"

"I…" The words caught in my throat, and my breath hitched. I felt the phantom tears welling up in my eyes. Before I could stop myself I was crying again.

"Hey… hey…" Carlisle spoke in a quiet, soothing tone as he moved to look at me. He moved more hair from my face; his eyes full of worry. "Shhh… Edward… What is it son?"

"I..I..I… m…m…messed up e..e..everything!" I choked out, burying my face back into his neck. The Guilt that had been building up just came gushing out as I cried harder.

"Shhh…" He held me tighter, trying his best to comfort me. He was worried about me, and I could sense a slight panic in him.

"Edward…." He murmured. "You did not mess everything up. You made mistakes... Everyone makes mistakes Edward. The important thing is that everyone is safe now."

"I.I.. s..sh..she… y..you… how ca…can I b..be.. fff..forgiv…ven?" I didn't understand how, after all I had done, I could be forgiven. How could they, especially Bella, take me back after all I had put them through?

I heard Carlisle sigh before he chuckled slightly in exasperation. "Oh Edward… the answer is simple–"

"Because we love you." A soft voice answered. My head shot up to see Esme there, walking over and sitting next to Carlisle… I had been so lost in my emotions I hadn't heard her. She reached her hand out and softly ran her fingers through my messy hair, smiling warmly.

"Mm… mom…"

"Come here baby." She said softly. Carlisle loosened his grip, placing one arm around Esme's shoulders, and keeping the other on my back, allowing me to lean forward in his lap, and into Esme's waiting arms.

"Mom…" I whimpered, now crying afresh into _her_ shoulder.

"We love you Edward." She whispered softly as I cried.

"Yes we do, very much." Carlisle put in, running his hand over my back in comfort.

"I…I.. l.. lo.. love you too."

"We all make mistakes baby." Esme continued, fingers playing with my hair as I struggled to quiet my cries. "In fact we _did_. We shouldn't have left; we should have tried to get you to stay. I don't think any of us realized the impact of that decision. We should have realized… when you were so distant…" She trailed off and I heard her breath catch. "We're just so glad you're home safe."

I heard Carlisle agree. They both fell silent then; Carlisle rubbing my back and Esme holding me tightly. After a few moments of mutual comforting, I was finally able to get myself under control.

"Edward…" Carlisle called softly. I turned my head from Esme's neck to look back at him. "We are your _family_. We love you, and we will _always_ be here for you. Though sometimes it may come with a sore bottom, you will _always_ be forgiven." He smiled.

"And Bella is your soul mate." Esme spoke up, moving me to sit back up so she could look into my eyes. "You were meant for each other. It may take some work, but she loves you too, and she wants you in her life. She wants you forever Edward; that is great love. I can see it in her eyes when she looks at you... she's complete with you, as are you with her." She softly laid her hand upon my cheek, moving her thumb back and forth. "Of course she forgives you baby."

I gave her a small smile. She leaned in and kissed my forehead as Carlisle ruffled my hair.

"Are you feeling any better son?" Carlisle asked.

I nodded. I felt a million times better… like a huge weight had dropped from my shoulders.

The both smiled at me. I didn't realize how much I had needed them both here.

I looked at Esme then, a puzzled expression forming on my face.

"How did you–"

"Alice."

"Ah…" I groaned. "Of course." She saw it… I'm sure she saw it all. I swear I felt my cheeks burn from my chagrin. Esme smiled, sensing my embarrassment.

"You know your sister Edward. She was worried. She sought me out on my hunt… she won't say anything."

I nodded. I knew she wouldn't… I just couldn't help but be embarrassed that she saw. I've always known that she's had to have seen some of my punishments, but I tried not to think about it. It was a little more difficult not to do so when she was sending my mother to comfort me.

"Ok baby, I'm going to finish my hunt and round up your siblings. Will you be ok if I leave?" I nodded. She gave me one more tight hug, and kissed my cheek before standing up. She looked at Carlisle, and leaning over, gave him a deep kiss on his lips.

After a moment she pulled away, leaving Carlisle slightly stunned, whispering 'I love you' and smiling brilliantly. She looked back to me.

_I love you baby_, she thought to me, lightly flicking my nose with her finger.

I chuckled at the gesture. "Love you too mom." Then she was gone.

Carlisle cleared his throat, still a little off guard from Esme's kiss.

_Are you alright now son?_

"Yes."

"Alright…" He patted my sore bottom lightly, making me wince. "Up you get. You should go to Bella before she wakes."

I nodded and stood from his lap. Once standing, Carlisle drew me into another hug, wrapping his arms around me tightly.

"I love you son. Lets not do this again any time soon, eh?"

"Definitely not." I agreed, moving my arms from around him to rub furiously at my burning backside. I let out a slight hiss at the pain… I'd be feeling this for a while.

Carlisle ruffled my hair again, and gave me a bashful smile.

_I'll leave you to it then. I best find your mother._

I nodded and watched as he turned and made his way out the door of my bedroom. I let out a heavy breath as I heard him take off into the woods. Still rubbing my backside, I started to make my way gingerly out of the house. He was right; I needed to get back before Bella awoke.

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_**A/N:**_ _Well there you have it!! Chapter 8!!! I hope you all liked it!! I can't believe how long this story has turned out to be!!! But there's only 1 or 2 chapters left! I'm going to be kinda sad to see it end!!! Well I'd LOVE to know what you all thought of this chapter. So again as always,_ **_PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REVIEW!!!_**_** I really like to make sure you all are happy, and take in to account all your opinions and suggestions! So your reviews are VERY IMPORTANT!!! **Thanks all!!_


	9. Chapter 9

_**A/N:**_ Hello everyone!!! Thanks for all your great reviews and suggestions!!!! I'm so, so glad you all enjoyed the last chapter. Edward just seemed to need both his mom & dad. Anyways, here is the next chapter!!

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I ran to Bella's at a somewhat sluggish pace… slowed down by my throbbing backside. Now that the comforting was over, all I could focus on at the moment was the awful ache. I was praying that Bella slept well for the rest of the night. How could I possibly hide my discomfort from her if she woke? How could I ever explain myself? _'Well Bella, baby, your 110 year old boyfriend still gets spanked by his father like a 5 year old.' _I shuddered. Yeah I'm sure that would go over well. I knew that the discussion would be inevitable... we couldn't spend eternity together without her knowing. She would find out eventually… not only because it would be impossible to hide after a while, but because Carlisle spanks all of his children; rarely, but he does. I doubt Bella would be an exception. The thought of Carlisle turning Bella over his knee sparked a low rumbling growl deep in my chest. I didn't like it. Not one bit. My instinct to protect my mate may be a problem. I quickly shook my head… dispelling that train of thought. Now is not the time…. If I get my way I hopefully won't have to worry about that for a while. _Focus on getting through the next couple of hours, Edward._

I reached Bella's house then, and gingerly hoisted myself through the window. Thankfully, it seemed she was still asleep. I looked at the bed and grimaced. Just the idea of getting on it… that meant sitting… or laying. Maybe I should stand as long as possible… just go to her when she starts to stir. I nodded to myself… yes standing is a good idea. I reached back to rub my painfully burning bottom. Closing my eyes, I bit my lip in an effort to hold in the hiss that bubbled up my throat at the discomfort. But even rubbing didn't seem to help. I unconsciously made a quiet sound of frustration. Lord, I swear Carlisle's got the hardest hand on the planet.

Deciding I should try to distract myself from the pain in my backside I moved quietly over to Bella's stack of books. Reading had always been a great escape for me… maybe it will help me tune out the blazing fire. I selected a random book, not caring what it was. I flipped it open; moving to stand by the rocking chair in the corner. I had gotten through about 50 pages when I heard her.

"Edward?" Bella whispered. My head shot up and I looked at her in surprise. _Oh shit. _I watched as she sat up slightly, brushing some of her unruly locks out of her face and rubbing her eyes.

"Yes love?" I murmured, tossing the book aside and walking over to the side of the bed.

"Did you get bored?"

I chuckled. _If only_. "No darling." I shook my head. "I was just snooping through your books, seeing if you had any you shouldn't." I teased, giving her a wink.

She giggled sleepily, reaching up and tugging at the collar of my shirt to get me to lean down. I obliged. "Find anything interesting?" She asked, her face inches from mine, her breath fanning across my face.

I moved forward and captured her lips in a deep kiss. I let myself get lost in it for a moment, letting her warmth wash over me; comfort me. I pulled away after a moment, smiling slightly as she gasped for air. "I found you." I whispered with a smirk.

She scoffed. "Not very interesting."

"I beg to differ." I disagreed, watching her struggle with a yawn.

"Come back to bed Edward." She murmured, leaning up to kiss me again. I kissed her back, gently laying her down again as I crawled onto the bed to hover over her. I carefully held myself over her, keeping a small space between us. I broke away to let her breathe, trailing kisses down her face to her neck and collarbone. She hummed in appreciation. After a moment I moved my lips back to hers. I just couldn't get enough of her. Bella kissed me back passionately, moving to wrap her fingers in my hair.

As the kiss went on she hooked her arms under mine to grasp my shoulders. With great reluctance I again stopped to let her breathe. My need for her was making me allow this to go on longer than I normally would. I suppose I was feeling needy; still seeking comfort after the stress of my punishment. I kept my face close to hers, our lips almost touching, as we both tried to calm our breathing.

"Bella…" I sighed contently. "I love you."

"I love you too." She looked at me, and I felt myself drown in the chocolate pools of her eyes. She was so beautiful. How did I live so long without her? I internally scoffed at the thought. _What you did without her wasn't living… you_ didn't _live without her._

"You should go back to sleep love." I whispered. Supporting all my weight on one arm I moved my free hand up to her face, running my fingertips gently down her cheek.

"Just… one more kiss."

I chuckled. "Bella… you are being very greedy." I teased, playfully rolling my eyes.

She pouted, sticking out her plump lower lip. I chuckled again before touching my lips softly to hers and then carefully sucking on that pouty lower lip. Bella moaned and moved her hands lightly down my spine to rest at my hips. I liked that. Closing my eyes, I groaned at the feeling and kissed her a little harder.

It was then that Bella did something a little out of character for her; something I never expected. Still kissing me passionately, she slowly moved her hands from my hips to my still throbbing bottom, slipping them in the back pockets of my jeans and squeezed. My eyes shot open wide and I let out a yelp, quickly jumping off the bed and across the room. I squeezed my eyes shut, and frantically tried to rub out the re-ignited fire. Before I could stop it, a small broken sob escaped my throat… _oh it hurt!_

"E..Edward?" Bella called to me meekly. I froze, hands still on my bottom and opened my eyes wide with shock.

"What's… what's wrong? What happened?" _Oh God…_ I thought. I can't believe this is happening. I bit my lip, swallowing the sobs bubbling up my throat and tried to think up an excuse to explain my odd behavior… but my mind was blank.

"Did I… did I do something wrong?" She whispered, voice broken.

I softened my gaze at her and swallowed hard, making sure no cries would escape when I spoke.

"No angel, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm… I'm sorry I startled you." I said softly, making my way over to the bed. She was sitting up, looking miserably confused. When I reached her, I leaned over and kissed her forehead in comfort, then kneeled beside her by the bed. I took her hands in mine, running soothing circles over her skin with my thumbs.

She leaned down into me, burying her face in the crook of my neck. I released her hands and wrapped my arms around her shoulders. We were quiet for a moment; my bottom throbbing painfully as I held Bella, dropping kisses on her forehead.

"Edward… What happened?" She whispered into my neck.

I sighed. I really didn't want to have this conversation… I didn't even know _how_ to have this conversation. How could she possibly see me as a protector, knowing that I was still spanked like a little boy?

"Bella…" I murmured, moving her back to sit up so I could look at her beautiful face. I moved a hand to her face, gently moving my thumb back and fourth across her cheek. Sighing again I bit my lip, thinking.

"I just… when you… It kinda…" I blurted. I let out a huff and pinched the bridge of my nose in frustration. _Stop babbling like a moron._

Bella grab my hand and held it in hers, and with her free hand gently ran her fingers over my face to smooth out my features.

"Edward… It's ok. I love you. You can tell me anything."

I blew out a breath and looked in her eyes. ok... Here goes nothing.

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_**A/N:**_ Ahhh I know... another cliff hanger!! BUT I wanted to get you all an update out and it seemed to work for me!!! I hope you all enjoyed this chapter!! As always _**PLEASE REVIEW!!!!**_ Your reviews make my world go round!!!


	10. Chapter 10

_**Warning:** This chapter contains references to corporal punishment, i.e. spanking. If this offends you please do not continue reading._

_**A/N:** Hey everyone! I hope this update didn't feel like it was too long! Thanks as always, for the great reviews and suggestions. I THINK this is going to be the last chapter... and it's the longest I've written.... so I hope you all enjoy!_

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"Bella I… When you… um…" I swallowed hard and cleared my throat; my nerves making me stumble over my words. "Touched me… um... ah… as you did… It kinda… well… ah…" I squeezed my eyes shut and pinched the bridge of my nose. "It hurt."

Bella looked at me curiously, eyes widening in surprise. "It hurt? I _hurt_ you?" She whispered, her voice sounding a bit frantic.

"Well now, Baby…" I began softly, taking her hands in mine again. "It's not like that. It wasn't your fault."

"But… You said…" She muttered, face scrunching in confusion. "I don't understand."

I sighed. I was not doing this very well. I gave her hands a squeeze, then standing up, I began to pace. I needed some way to release some of the tension building up in me. Bella watched me apprehensively, still perplexed by the whole situation.

After a minute I paused, running my hand through my messy hair in agitation. "Bella." I said her name quietly. "I… I grew up in a time much different than this, as did Carlisle and the rest of my family." I glanced at Bella as I said this, and she nodded. "I've been with Carlisle for many years now, and as you know he considers me a son and I consider him my father."

She nodded in understanding and watched silently as I began to pace again. "Well Carlisle has had to… raise me in this life, so to speak. And that comes with, what he refers to as, paternal responsibility… for example making sure that my siblings and I don't stray to far from the path that–"

"Edward… what does this have to do with–"

"I'll… I'll get there." I replied quickly. _Maybe. _Bella sighed, but stayed quiet, waiting for me to go on.

"Well it's just that… sometimes, if we get a bit… unruly… Carlisle will have to reign us back in." I rushed out. Surely she can understand without me having to say it. I stopped my pacing and looked over at her.

She sat for a moment, thinking, before she looked up at me. "I'm not sure I really understand where you are going with this."

I groaned, and started pacing again. _I'm going to have to say it, aren't I? She won't understand until I say it. _I stopped my frantic pacing again and turned slightly so that I stood with my back to her, staring out the window.

"Bella…" I sighed. "Sometimes we do foolish things… sometimes getting a lecture doesn't cut it." I turned to face her again. "Sometimes Carlisle has to…. Bella I… I've done some stupid, foolish things. And Carlisle, as my father, had to… he wanted to be absolutely sure that I wouldn't do anything like them again."

Bella stared at me, waiting for me to continue. Silently I prayed she wouldn't think less of me. Shoving my hands in my pockets I looked at the floor. "I… I was spanked Bella." I whispered.

I heard Bella gasp, but kept my eyes to the floor. I wasn't sure I could face her gaze yet. Never in my life had I wished so much to hear her thoughts as I did at this moment. To be given any clue as to what she thought of all this, I would have paid anything.

Silence hung in the air heavily as I waited for her to speak. It was getting to be almost unbearable, when she finally did.

"You… you're serious?" She asked.

I nodded.

"But Edward!" I looked up at her, saw her face light up with that adorable blush. "You're over a hundred!"

I chuckled humorlessly and let out a sigh. "I know."

"You're too old for… something like that!"

I shook my head. _God I wish_. "Bella, in Carlisle's time, even in my own, it wasn't unheard of. And though I may be 110, I can still be run by my teenaged emotions. I am forever 17 Bella… I can't stop myself from regressing now and again. Carlisle has to take into account that I don't always act my... mental... age. As I said before, we are from times where giving your teenaged son an occasional... _reminder_... was considered… appropriate in a situation such as ours."

She stared at me, eyes wide with disbelief.

"But… so then… Carlisle… tonight?"

I nodded. "And last night."

"Twice?!" She exclaimed incredulously. Her face was flushed, almost angry. "Whatever for?!"

"Bella… I tried to end my life… twice." I said quietly, and saw her features soften. "I screwed up… I really screwed up." My breath hitched. "I deserve so much worse than just a couple of spankings." I felt the phantom tears well in my eyes, and I squeezed them shut. "I'm so sorry Bella." I whispered brokenly, a small sob escaping me.

"Edward…" Bella sighed. I heard her get up from the bed and walk over to me; felt her warmth as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I took her in my arms in return, holding her to me tightly. "It's alright Edward."

I was so strung out, so emotionally drained that I couldn't help what happened then. Standing there, with Bella's arms around me, I buried my face in her hair and just started crying. Not the big broken sobs like before, but small quiet cries. "I'm s..so sorry Be…Bella."

"Shhhh…" She soothed, running a hand up and down my spine. After a moment she slowly walked backwards… moving us back towards the bed. She stopped when we reached it, continuing to rub my back.

I sucked in a breath, swallowing my cries and pulled back to look in her face. "Bella.." I choked out. "You'll n..never know h…how truly s..sorry I am. I k..know that it m…may be di…difficult for you t..to f..f..forgive me but…" Taking her arms from around me, I brought her hands to my lips, kissing them softly. I held them there, resting my forehead against them for a moment, composing myself, before looking in her eyes again.

"Bella… I.. I can't imagine trying to live my life w…without you again. Without, these fingers.." I murmured, kissing her fingers tips. "These arms…" I closed my eyes, my breath still hitching every now and then, and kissed up her arm. "Your nose." I kissed the tip of her nose. "Your eyes." I kissed her eyelids softly. "Your lips." I ever so lightly brushed my lips against hers. "And most of all…" I laid my head down against her chest, listening to her heart pounding. "Your heart."

"I know what you said yesterday…. But Bella, I need you to… to tell me. Please…" I whispered… voice cracking.

"Edward." Bella sighed. Placing her hand on my cheek, she coaxed my head up. "I _love_ you." She murmured, looking into my eyes. I place my hand over the one she rested on my cheek. "I _need_ you. I _forgive_ you."

My heart melted. I exhaled sharply, and giving her a small smile tried to get my emotions in check. "I… I love you too Bella. More than anything."

She smiled back at me, and placed her hand on my chest, over my silent heart. Then she leaned into me, laying her head on my chest. I wrapped my arms around her, and, placing a kiss to the top of her head, held her close. We stayed like that for an immeasurable moment.

After a while, Bella yawned into my chest. I chuckled in spite of myself.

"Time to go back to bed love. You're exhausted."

She nodded and let me gather her up into my arms. She curled into me as I pulled back the covers and moved to sit down.

**Stupid.**

I jumped right back up at the contact of my sore bottom and the bed, letting out a hiss.

Bella kissed my neck softly in comfort. "That bad, huh?"

"You have no idea." I responded in a strained voice. I laid her down on the bed, tucking her in before lying on my stomach beside her. She rolled on her side to face me, running her fingers through my hair.

"I still can't believe Carlisle… spanks you. Does he only spank you?" She asked quietly, stifling another yawn.

"No." It was somewhat easier to talk about it now, and though I was still greatly embarrassed it was kind of a relief that she knew.

"Even Alice? And Emmett?"

I chuckled. "Most definitely Emmett, he seems to get himself in trouble the most. Alice however… tends avoid it fairly well."

"Does he do it a lot?"

I shook my head. "Rarely… he only does it when we do something that he feels is bad enough to warrant it. He lets a lot slide. Thank goodness. A spanking from Carlisle is no walk in the park." I grimaced.

"And he spanked you _twice_?"

I nodded.

"Poor baby." She said, kissing my forehead. She snuggled closer to me, and began trailing a hand up and down my back.

"I'm sorry I hurt you earlier." She whispered.

"It's ok love… you didn't know." I took a deep breath, groaning a bit at the feel of her hand on my back.

"Edward?"

"Hmm?" I responded absently.

"How… um…" She paused. I looked to her at her hesitation.

"Yes?"

She bit her lip, her face turning a brilliant shade of red.

"How what?"

She sighed, blushing even more. "How does he… well… you know… how?"

I looked at her with wide eyes. "You uh… want to know how… uh…" I cleared my throat nervously. "How he… he… does it?"

She nodded slightly, still blushing furiously.

"Um…" I cleared my throat again. "Bella… Baby… don't you think you should get some sleep? We have school in the morning."

She looked down, moving her hand to lace her fingers with mine. "I'm sorry…" She whispered. "I guess I'm just curious."

I sighed. _Lord help me_. She's got me wrapped around those delicate little fingers. How did I go from trying not to tell her, to telling her… details?

"I… I don't know what about it you want to know exactly…" I hedged. "But if I answer a few more questions… will you promise to get some sleep?"

She nodded.

"Alright…" I conceded. "But only a few more." I gave her a pointed look.

"Uh-huh." She confirmed. I sighed again, and swallowing hard, settled myself in for an uncomfortable next few minutes.

"Does he do it right away or… do you get like… sent to your room first?"

I let out a breath, laughing slightly. I hope all her questions are this easy. "Carlisle is not generally one to spank first. He usually accompanies us up to our room and gives us a lecture, and a chance to talk things through. And he always makes sure we know why we are being punished." I briefly thought about the question he never fails to ask; 'Why are you about to receive this spanking?'

"Have you ever talked your way out of one?"

"Hmmm…" I thought for a moment. "I've tried… but I don't think I've ever actually succeeded."

"How exactly does he…? I mean are you…? Where do you…?" She trailed off, biting her lip.

I swallowed hard, knowing what she was trying to ask. "Um… usually over his knee."

She quirked a brow. I shrugged.

She shook her head. "I just can't see it."

"Good…" I muttered softly, but she didn't catch it.

"Just one or two more love. You really need to rest."

"Ok…" She mumbled. "Does he ever use anything?"

I shook my head. "Carlisle finds the idea of… implements… too harsh. Besides, whatever it was would just break anyway."

She nodded in agreement. "I imagine his hand is enough, even through your jeans."

I stiffened. "Mmmm." I responded, swallowing nervously.

Noticing the shift, Bella studied me closely. "You… you do keep your jeans?"

I looked down… and shook my head once. She stared at me in disbelief.

"Do you… ummm… anything?"

I sighed and squeezed my eyes shut. After a few seconds I shook my head again.

Bella inhaled sharply, eyes going wide with shock. "Edward!" She exclaimed. "But… you… nothing Edward?!"

I groaned, and buried my face in her pillow in my chagrin. _Could this suck any more? _I thought bitterly to myself._ First I get the 2 hardest spankings I've ever gotten... in 2 days!!... then not only do I have to tell the love of my existence about it... Oh no... I have to tell her that when I get spanked, I get spanked bare, over my father's knee!!_

Bella remained quiet as I tried desperately to sink through the bed in my embarrassment.

"I'm sorry Edward." She whispered, reaching out and stroking the back of my head. "I'm sorry I've upset you… I… I shouldn't have pushed."

I left out a breath into her pillow, then rolled on my side to face her. I kept my eyes down as I spoke. "It's alright Bella." I said quietly. "It's understandable that you would be curious. I'm not upset, I just… I'm embarrassed. I don't want you to think of me any differently."

"Edward…" She murmured. I didn't look up. "Edward, look a me." I closed my eyes briefly, trying to calm myself, before I looked up and met her gaze. "You don't have to be embarrassed. I love you. None of this could change anything about how I feel about you." She leaned forward and kissed me tenderly. "I promise."

I smiled, and gave a slight nod. _Okay_. "I love you too."

She smiled at me, before yawning yet again. Time for her to sleep. I wrapped my arm around her, and pulled her to my chest. "Sleep now love." She curled into me, sighing in content. "I love you Bella… My love, My life…." I whispered, kissing the top of her head. "Sweet dreams."

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_**A/N:**_ _Well there it is. I really hoped you enjoyed it! I'm sorry some of your suggestions didn't make it into the story, but I hope you know that I truly do appreciate them and I seriously considered them. Who knows maybe they will be in a new story? Though, this is intended as the last chapter I may do an epilogue. I'm not sure, yet... it's just an inkling of an idea, but we'll see where it goes! I hope you all enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it!!! As always... **PLEASE REVIEW!!!!** Your reviews are really important to me and I sincerely appreciate all you have to say!!!! Thanks for reading!_


	11. Chapter 11

**_WARNING:_**_ This story contains corporal punishment in some chapters. If this offends you, please discontinue your reading of this story._

_**A/N:** Hello everyone! Since everyone loved this story so much, and I was reluctant to let it end, here is a bonus chapter! I hope you all enjoy it!_

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It's been a couple hours since Bella had fallen asleep. I think it was the first time I've ever been so relieved of her human need for it. No matter what she had said to calm me, my embarrassment only worsened. All I could think was _she knows_. I still just can't wrap my mind around it. And to top it off my backside was still throbbing painfully.

_Edward Anthony Masen Cullen._ Carlisle's 'voice' shook me from my thoughts.

"Carlisle?" I whispered quietly, looking towards the window. _What is he doing here?_

He didn't reply, but I could sense his presence. I kissed Bella's head softly, breathing in her scent deeply for a moment. Then I slowly disentangled myself from her, wincing at the pain in my bottom as it brushed the mattress, and made my way to the window. Through the darkness I saw Carlisle standing by the edge of the woods. His arms were crossed and his stance stiff. He was carefully blocking me from his thoughts. Looking up through the window, he crooked his finger at me before turning and walking into the forest.

I shot a quick glance at Bella, making sure she was still asleep, before obediently climbing out the window and following him. This was strange… Carlisle has never sought me out at Bella's like this before. I began to get nervous…_ was something wrong? What's happened?_

I moved through the trees silently for a few minutes, growing more anxious with each passing moment, before he came into view. He stood, arms crossed, watching my approach closely.

"Carlisle! Is everything alright? What's happened? Is there news on Victoria? Oh God… should I have left Bella?" I was quickly becoming frantic. I ran my hand through my hair, tugging it slightly in my nervous state. Just as I was about to turn back, Carlisle stopped me.

_Calm yourself Edward. Nothing has happened. Bella is _fine.

I paused a few feet from him, dropping my arms to my sides. I looked him over carefully, confused. "I don't understand."

Carlisle remained silent as he studied my face for a moment. I shifted nervously under his scrutiny, trying desperately to read his thoughts. He continued to block me out.

After another agonizing minute of silence Carlisle finally spoke. "It's going to be sunny tomorrow."

That took me completely off guard. I shook my head slowly, confused. "Okkkkaaaayyyy…"I responded cautiously. _Why would he come all the way here to tell me _that_?_

"Alice has been trying to reach you for the past hour." His voice was flat; his tone clipped.

I cocked my head to the side and looked at him questioningly.

"Alice?" I couldn't recall hearing from her. I started to reach into my right pocket, searching for my phone when Carlisle moved. I froze, watching as he slowly drew something from the front pocket of his shirt, arms still crossed. My eyes widened as he held up the little silver object for me to see. My phone. I must have left it at the house.

"Do you recall the rules I discussed with you Edward?" Carlisle asked. His voice was soft and dangerous.

I swallowed. "Y-yes." I answered nervously.

_Tell me._

"Um…" I fidgeted under his intense gaze. "If not w-with Bella, I am to b-be home. No piano for three w-weeks." I recited obediently. "And…" I trailed off.

_And?_ He prompted me silently.

"To keep my c-cell phone with me at a-all times."

He nodded sharply in approval. _And what did I say would happen if you disobeyed that last rule?_

"I'm sorry dad." I rushed out. "I didn't mean to leave it at home."

_Please just answer the question Edward. _

I sighed, slumping my shoulders in defeat. "There would be c-consequences…" I whispered.

_I'm disappointed Edward. After the past 2 nights, I simply cannot believe I am here for this right now_. He shook his head sadly, and held out my phone for me.

I hesitated for a moment before reluctantly making my way to him. He was still blocking me from his mind, and I didn't like it. When I reached him, I slowly took my phone from him, placing is securely in my pocket.

Before I could make another move, Carlisle grabbed me, spinning me to face away from him. I trembled.

_This will not happen again Edward._

SMACK!

SMACK!

SMACK!

SMACK!

SMACK!

He landed five fast, hard, burning spanks to the under curve of my sore bottom, one on top of the other. I rolled up onto my toes at the impact of the heavy swats.

_Let that be a reminder._

"OW! FATHER!" I cried out at the pain, instantly breaking down into hard sobs.

At my cry, Carlisle released my arm and pulled me into a fierce embrace. I hid my face in his shoulder as I sobbed, frantically rubbing my backside.

"Oww…. Oww…" I whimpered. "It h…hurts… ohhh…"

Carlisle rubbed my back in comfort. "Ok Edward. It's alright…"

I continued to cry as I attempted to rub out the reignited fire in my bottom. Carlisle hugged me closer, rocking us slightly side to side. "I'm sorry baby boy… I'm so sorry I had to do that…" He whispered into my hair, struggling not to cry with me. This whole ordeal tormented him… three times he had to discipline me in two days. He loathed hurting me, even though it was necessary. He held onto me as if his sanity depended on it.

"Daa…aad…." I whined through my 'tears'. "It h…hurts…"

"I know son… I'm sorry. But you must obey the rules. You worried me."

"S..sor…ry.." I muttered into his shirt.

"I know baby… I know."

Carlisle rocked me a while longer as I calmed myself, my backside throbbing intensely. When my sobbing reduced down to sniffles he spoke.

"I'm sorry I had to do that Edward." He murmured; voice cracking. "I love you."

"I… love y…you… t…too. I'mmm… sorry." I mumbled. He squeezed me tightly before moving me back a bit. He ran his fingers through my hair tenderly, giving me a small smile. I realized then that for the second time that night I needed his reassurance.

"Dad…" I spoke after a moment.

_Yes?_

I chewed on my bottom lip a moment before letting out a sigh.

"Bella… she… she knows."

Carlisle cocked his head to the side slightly.

_Knows what?_

I sighed again hiding my face back into his shoulder.

"About… you… umm… you know…" I mumbled into his shirt.

He was silent for a moment, stroking the back of my head.

_Ah._

"How can she possibly look at me the same? How can she trust me to take care of her if I'm still…" I trailed off, shaking my head.

"Edward." Carlisle called me softly, moving me back to look in my face again. "Just because you are sometimes disciplined this way, doesn't make you any less her protector. I'm sure she knows this. You are the same man she fell in love with." I looked down, sighing heavily, my mind filled with doubt.

"Look at me son." I did. "You will always be my little boy, who every so often needs a firm reminder…" I grimaced. "But just as you are my boy, you are also her man, and you will always be. Do not doubt in her, or yourself. Your family life is a part of what makes you who you are. She knows that." He ran his fingers through my hair again. "The only one with doubts that I see is you. Cut yourself some slack." He squeezed my shoulders, and gave me a smile.

"Thanks dad." I whispered.

_Anytime._

"I guess I should get back." I sighed, loosening my grip on him. He pulled me tighter to him one more time, placing a kiss to the top of my head as he did.

"I love you Edward." He whispered into my hair. "Please, let this be the last discussion of this kind we have for a while."

I nodded, "I'm sorry about my phone…" I mumbled as he let me go. "I should have made sure I had it."

"It's forgiven now. You best be getting back. And remember, give yourself a little slack."

I chuckled, rubbing my scorching bottom. "Well… I guess someone has to."

He smiled and nudged me towards Bella's with a short laugh. _Go on._

"I love you dad."

"I love you too my Edward. I love you too."

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_**A/N:** The End. Soooo sad to see it end! I loved writing this story! I hope you all enjoyed reading it as much as I did writing it! Thanks so much for all your wonderful support! You're all so great!_


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